Flat Tire Beer Bread and Cardiology Poetry

Finally I have a day off tomorrow. The definition of “over-tired” is when you come home after a long day, set about make some simple snack, like a piece of peanut butter toast, and while waiting for the toaster, watch some late night sketch like Nonsense Karaoke and laugh so hard you have to lie down, crying, and then you fall asleep on the floor for three hours, the toast quietly cooling to a stale in the toaster. I actually think Nonsense Karaoke would be a fabulous Middle School English class activity for teaching assonance (rhyming vowel sounds in poetry).

I don’t know what it is about being on a cardiology service that makes me fantasize about being an English teacher—probably something to do with spending hours a day assessing meter (regular vs irregular, and heart rate) and the qualities of sound the heart makes. Heard an S3 today for the first time (nerd) (yes, I’m calling myself a nerd in parenthetical whisper.) Jolly good fun.

Flat Tire Beer Bread

Adapted from Penzeys Spices

3 Cups all-purpose flour (dare I say wheat flour is better for the heart)

3 tsp. baking powder

3/4 tsp. salt

3 TB. sugar

1 12-oz. bottle beer (I used Schells Deer Brew, because what on Earth is that and who left it in my refrigerator? But try any beer, as you will), room temperature

1/4-1/2 tsp. garlic or onion powder optional

1-2 tsp. herbs, up to you—I used general Italian spices, rosemary, parsley, thyme, but this is optional

Preheat oven to 350°. In a large bowl, combine all of the dry ingredients and mix well, then add the beer at the end. Wheeeee! Volcano! Spoon into a greased 4 1/2×8 1/2-inch loaf pan. Bake at 350° for 1 hour. Serve warm.

This is by far the easiest bread recipe I know, and the beer bread tastes great with chili or any hearty soup. Or just straight up if you’re too tired (like I am) to stand up long enough to cook something. This is a great bread for those who are worried they might fall asleep in a pike position over the kitchen counter while kneading. Low Risk bread endeavor here.

Haiku #112 (April 22)

Earth Day, righteously

I rode a bicycle to

work at hospital.

Haiku #113 (April 23)

The menagerie

has wooly mammoths, squid, bees,

badger, and me: coral.

Haiku #114 (April 24)

At the end of my

stethoscope is the ocean.

The heart: a conch shell.